Haley Fires and the Lightning Theif
by icecream401
Summary: Haley is the daughter of Hades and Persephone. She is a goddess, but she goes to Camp Half-Blood for some stupid reason. Sorry about the wrong stuff, I'm still reading the series, so I"m still a bit unfamiliar with everything. Ah well. Enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1: I Get Pantsed By My Father

**Haley Fires and the Olympians**

**THE LIGHTNING THEIF**

**A/N: This is going to be just like the first book of the "Percy Jackson" series, but from a different god's perspective. Please R+R. Thanks.**

_**Prologue...**_

I sat in my room in my "house." This wasn't really my house, though, it was more of like a prison cell. My father is Hades and he keeps me in my room all day long. My mother, Persephone, says that he does it because he thinks I'll ditch him at will.

Where are my manners? I'm Haley Fires. I'm the daughter of Hades and Persephone. Persephone is a goddess, and Hades forced her to marry him. Then, they…you get the idea, right? Then, I came along. As my mom says I was the cutest thing to ever walk this world. My father, Hades, may think the opposite at times. Then, my parents had this really big fight which was about what they wanted to do with me. My mother wanted me to go to a regular school. My father wanted me to go to a camp called Camp Half-Blood, which I had to agree sounded cool enough to let me in and all.

So, I'm a demigod, or, at least, I think I am. The reason being is that I'm not so sure if I'm a goddess or not. Persephone and Hades keep telling me that I'm going to be a demigod. If you're a kid born to two gods nowadays, you'll be a demigod, unless you go to Zeus and make him change you into a demigod. So, here I am, just sitting in my room like always with nothing to do but hoping I'll get constipated. Hades treats me extra nicely when I'm like that. Persephone's nicer than that, though.

I sat in the living room in the Palace of Hades. Persephone was busy setting a fire. Hades was pacing the floor as though he was about to get sick all over it.

"Persephone!" he finally yelled. "Where's my tea?"

"It's coming, my love," Persephone called to him. With of wave of his hand, Hades made a long, rectangular table appear out of nowhere. Then, with a wave of his hand again, he set it for three.

"Sit," he told me, calmly. "Persephone and I want to talk to you."

I guess I should explain something. I don't call my parents like I should call them. One morning, I just started to say "Daddy" to Hades and he never got over it. He'd forbidden me from calling him "Daddy" again. Then, he told my to call my mother goddess "Persephone."

"Now," said Hades in his best-evil-guy's voice, "Haley, Persephone and I want to send you to Camp Half-Blood and we've discussed this together as a family before. Correct?"

Persephone kicked me slightly under the table. "Correct," I said, meeting Hades' eyes.

"Good," he said. "Off to bed with you, child!"

I brushed my teeth with blood-flavored toothpaste and crawled into the bed Hades and Persephone had made for me when I was four years old.

Persephone came in to say good-night to me as usual. "Your father's excited about your stay at this camp we've talked to you about. And, darling, you'll meet many new friends while you're there as well."

"Yes, Persephone," I told her. "I guess you're right."

"Okay, my love," said Persephone, tucking me in and kissing me good-night. "I love you. We'll have our slaves pack everything up for you in a few hours time."

The next morning, I woke up to Hades tapping me on the side of the head. "Yes, Hades?" I asked him.

"You're to get up, take a shower, brush your teeth, and get dressed, child," he said. "Persephone and I are taking you to Camp Half-Blood."

"Oh—" I swore under my breath. Hades either couldn't hear me, or he was just ignoring me. That's what he would always do—come into my room, snap at me, and leave, even if he could hear me calling him a lot of stuff under my breath.

Persephone gave me one of her pearls. I should probably explain, shouldn't I? The pearls transport people to wherever they'd wish to go. I shouted out, along with them, "Half-Blood Hill!"

Then, I was closed in a giant bubble. Before I knew it, I was standing on a very steep hill, looking down into a sort-of campsite. Twelve cabins made a U-shape format around two bigger cabins. Then, I saw one more cabin off to the side of the U. It was dark and icky-looking. Large spiders hung from the roof. I hoped I wasn't staying in that one.

Persephone and Hades dragged me over to a large mess-hall, bigger than all the cabins combined! Hades opened the door and shuffled his wife and me inside. Hades then closed the door behind us. The sound was very loud and hurt my ears. I'm not too fond of loud noises!

I saw two people sitting at a table in front of me. There was a very big man with almost-purple-ish hair. I would say it was black, but it wasn't so. His hair was to the point of being purple and that was that. The other dude wasn't sitting. He was standing. He was a centaur, half-human, half-horse. The man to his right could be probably Dionysus, the god of wine.

Dionysus looked at me strangely, then addressed me. "Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, yadah, yadah, yadah. We're pleased to meet you, whoever the heck you are."

The centaur looked at me. He drummed his fingers in front of him on a piece of paper that contained camper names. "Ah," he said to me. "Haley Fires. Please to meet you. I'm Kyron."

"Pleased to meet you," I told him. "And you as well, Lord Dionysus." You're supposed to talk to gods that way; it's the rule. "I'm excited to be here and I would like to know where I'd be staying."

"Well, I'm Kyron and this is, as you probably said, Dionysus, the god of wine," said Kyron, shuffling his hooves. "You'll be staying with…uh…"

Dionysus interrupted rudely. "She shall stay in Cabin Three—the Athena Cabin. She'll have a wonderful time here! The camper there, all her siblings died. Now, she's left alone. We could have you stay in the Excluded Cabin, but you're too afraid of spiders, I hear from your mother, child."

I looked at Persephone. She smiled back down at me. To tell you the truth, I was afraid of spiders, but who cares? Everyone's got a fear, except for Hades. Actually, his only fear is himself getting constipated or sick or something. Sure, he cared about Persephone and I as well, but he didn't have any fears for us.

"Thank you, Lord," I told him.

"Please, child, call me Mr. D. It'll save your voice."

"Yes, Mr. D." With that, Persephone and Hades carried my stuff over to Cabin Three, dragging me along with them. I turned around to Mr. D. I thanked him again.

Suddenly, I felt my pants fall down! Hades had pantsed me and ran out of the mess-hall, laughing is oily head off!


	2. Chapter 2: We All Meet Auntie Em

Well, the only thing I could tell you is that when I got into Cabin Three, the only thing I saw was a girl sitting on the bed. She was sitting on a squashy, black and red sleeping bag, just reading a book. The girl looked up as soon as I had shut the door behind Persephone. She nodded at me, then smiled.

"Welcome to Camp Half-Blood," she told me. "Name's Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena."

"Right, hi, and I'm Haley Fires, Daughter of Hades."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" asked Persephone.

"…and Persephone," I finally concluded. Persephone and Hades said good-bye to me, well Hades just slapped me on the back of the head and yelled behind his shoulder at me:

"BEHAVE, CHILD!"

"Ignore him," I told Annabeth. "He's naturally rude like that. It runs in his house or something."

"Right," said Annabeth.

"So," I began to make conversation with my new cabin mate, "what's this camp like?"

"Well, we usually train in the mornings and do other activities in the afternoons. You're in my cabin, though, so you and I can choose our own activities." She gestured to a form on the bedside table. "Tell me what you think, Haley."

I nodded and began to read the form.

_Camp Activities: Camp Half-Blood_

_1. Canoeing_

_2. Training for Battles – Required by Camp Law_

_3. Swimming_

_4. Archery_

_5. Making Things out of Metal_

_6. Arts and Crafts_

_7. Centaur Riding – Must ask Kyron before doing so, or it'll offend him_

_8. Volleyball_

_9. Basketball_

_10. Sailing_

"What's Centaur Riding?" I asked Annabeth. She sat on her sleeping bag and stared at the piece of paper in my hand, trying to think of what Centaur Riding was. Finally, a light bulb went off in her mind.

"It's a new activity. We just got it last year. Kyron, one of the Centaurs, is very disappointed with it. You have to ask him first before you do it."

"So—" I was about to ask her about Capture the Flag, but she cut me off.

"We're required to play that, too. We're to head to dinner now."

At dinner, we all sat at our cabin's table. I guess there was a really harsh storm the night before, because two boys came over to us and sat with us. One boy had hooves and walked funny. He was carrying two fake feet. The other boy was handsome, about twelve years old. His hair was sort of squared off in back and it was a beautiful black, just like the summer sky right now. We ate late so no bugs would get us, Annabeth told me.

Everybody started to walk up to a fire crackling merrily in a corner of the pavilion. I thought it was time for dessert, but that wasn't it at all. People were dropping the best of their dinners into the fire. I saw the handsome boy sitting with me drop a ruby-red clump of grapes into the fire. He said the god, "Poseidon," and it burned away into mist.

I followed. "To Persephone," I said. I would feel like a total moron if I did it to Hades. "Fine, and Hades," I said, dropping a single grape in for my creepy father downstairs.

Everyone went back to the cabins, but Dionysus asked me, Annabeth, and the two boys to stay behind.

With one breath, Dionysus began to tell us some bad news. "Okay, Zeus' master lightning bolt is stolen and we need someone to go fetch it. You guys would be the perfect tools to get it back to him."

"You shall start your quest tomorrow. It must be returned to him by the summer solstice, June 21st. That's in ten days from now. Think you can handle it?" asked Kyron. We nodded. "Very well, then. Off you go."

Let's get one thing straight, shall we, before we go on this randomized quest? There was a lightning thingy stolen from Zeus or something and the four of us are supposed to find it. I wasn't too happy with it, either. Quickly, Annabeth and I ran to Cabin Three and packed up our things. We met the two boys we met outside our cabin.

"Haley, this is Grover Underwood," Annabeth introduced. Grover Underwood was the dude with hooves for feet. "And this—" she continued "—is the one, the only Percy Jackson."

I stared at Percy. He was even handsomer than before. "Well," he said, his voice was between and tenor and a bass, "shall we get going then?" The rest of us nodded and we parted up towards Half-Blood Hill.

A little while later, we were all on a public bus to our first destination. Okay, I'll try to explain this whole situation in one sentence. I'll never be able to do it, though!

In order to get the master bolt back, we all had to go to the underworld to see Hades and Persephone, my parents, or my parent and jerk. Persephone had hidden three pearls in three different areas in the US. So, we had to find those if we wanted to exit the underworld after we'd finished with our business. We all had a map to guide us to the three locations. The first was a gnome garden, run by a woman named Auntie Em.

The public bus dropped us off right at the entrance. We all gave the bus driver an extra quarter for a tip. The garden looked run-down. Actually, it looked like people had died here, because nobody was here, except for a bunch of stone statues.

The statues seemed to have a very frightened appearances on their faces, well half of them did at least. The statue to my right were a man and a woman, two lovers, holding each other by the waist and kissing. I felt pretty bad for them, because they would never know what was going to happen to them.

All of a sudden, we all heard footsteps from inside a little shack and a woman appeared by the doorway.

"Oh, my goodness!" she exclaimed. "Dears, are you all right?" The woman seemed Middle-Eastern, because we could all tell from her accent. Then, she took a good look at us. "You children need food at once! Come along inside. There's a dining area near the back and let's get you something to eat."

We allowed her to shuffle us back to her dining area. She had us sit down at a table set for five. There was a grill and a fast food counter in front of us. She disappeared behind the counter and started to cook dinner.

I forgot to tell you that she was wearing a vale, and none of us could see her face. It looked as though she was headless, but if she still had a voice, then, she must not be.

"Well," she said, bringing out a big tray of fast food—cheeseburgers, French fries, and shakes, "I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Auntie Em. I believe you four are Annabeth, Grover, Haley, and Percy. It is so wonderful to meet you."

"You, too," we all said in unison, and we began to pig out. Auntie Em nodded and sat down and interlaced her fingers. She just stared at us. I wasn't feeling too good about her doing this, but I guess it was okay.

The strange woman kept on staring at us as we ate our food in silence. I felt full after my first cheeseburger, fries, and shake. I felt as though I just gotten numbed up with Novocain and other drugs, because I was feeling really sleepy. Wait a second! Persephone's never taken me to the dentist before. She told me that I didn't need a dental checkup, because she thought my teeth looked fine already. Once she did take me to the doctor for a sore throat appointment, and I've feared the doctor's office ever since. Hades loves to make fun of me about it. Hades will always pretend to be a doctor and try to stick something down my throat and try to kill me, but Persephone always comes in at the right time, so…yeah…

Anyways, Annabeth started to get up, but Auntie Em seemed to want to keep us forever.

"Please, children, please stay for a pose," Auntie Em persuaded.

"Huh?" asked Percy.

"A picture…you know…a photograph. I want to make you children into stat—I mean—a beautiful photograph to hang on the bullion board in my little office over there." She pointed to an office at the corner of the room. "Now, please, come outside and we'll get it over with so you can leave. I hear you're on a quest?"

"Yes, Auntie Em," I told her. "We're on a quest to regain Zeus' lightning thingy."

She nodded and smiled at me. "Now, I'll give you all your positions, shall I? The two girls in the middle and the boys on each side of them. There's enough light to see each other, yes?" We nodded. "Very well, then," said Auntie Em. "I can't see you very well in this awful vale!" She reached up to undo her headdress. All of a sudden, Grover announced:

"That was my Uncle Ferdinand over there. This isn't Auntie Em! This is—"

"Shut up!" snapped Auntie Em. "Look at me now!"

"Look away from her!" Annabeth shouted. "This is Medusa!"

"I said shut up, children!" Medusa yelled. "I want the demigods to be better off as some statues so I can deliver them to Hades and Persephone!"

"Hey, you old bat, those are my parents!" I yelled. "You turn me into a statue, you're dead meat!"

Medusa didn't say anything. She cackled and started to come over towards me. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Percy was behind me. He motioned for me to come over to him.

"You have to cut her head off!" he whisper-yelled to me. "Medusa is a menace. She'll just turn you into statues! I'm not going to do it! It'll look too fishy!"

"Okay, then, I'll do it!" I grabbed Percy's sword that he was holding in his hands. "Can I borrow this?"

"Sure, whatever. I'm kind of scared to move, Haley."

I walked over towards Medusa and she let me come over to her. I was holding a glass ball so that I could only see her reflection. Medusa's smile got wider and wider, as though she were trying to break the world record for The Widest Smiles of Monsters Like Herself.

"You're being stupid," she told me and the others. "You kids would be better off as some pretty statues."

"Yeah, whatever," I said to her. "Please, turn your head this way, Medusa." I saw her turn her snake-head towards me and I yelled, "Head's off!" I sliced her head off and there was green stuff oozing from her severed neck.

"Oh, that's sick," said Annabeth. "We could take it with us and use it on some other people."

Percy put it in his backpack after wrapping it up good enough. Then, he made a sick face and stole one of the remaining cheeseburgers from Medusa's rundown shack.

We looked at our map. It had highlighted our next destination—a museum in Nashville. Grover said he hated the music, then we all told him to shut his face. Thank the gods he slept half the way there.

The next day, we arrived in Nashville. Grover was old enough to drive us there, but we parked the car in a parking lot overnight so we could get some rest.


End file.
